ooh baby, do you know what that's worth?

Oh, heaven is a place on Earth.
In heaven, love comes first.
We'll make heaven a place on Earth.

I LOVE THIS SONG! Especially this version by Katie Thompson. (The original, by Belinda Carlisle, is good, even if the video is kind of silly).

Lyrics are always important to me when I consider a song (for the most part, anyways), and it's been a personal philosophy of mine to 'make heaven a place on Earth' for a while. I know that it is a love song but the chorus is really resonating with me right now.

Let's say it's been a rough couple days, and this was a pleasant surprise to lose myself in. Healthy escapes are always good for the soul.

Crazy Interview Questions

I read this on a tip from Andrew Sullivan. It always amuses me to read clever answers to questions that should really never be asked in interviews. This list, written by Giles Turnbull from the Online Magazine, The Morning News: Black and White and Read all over, takes the cake!

My favorite example:

Kiewit Corp: What did you play with as a child?

We had no toys. Grandpa sometimes brought us interesting-looking stones that he’d found by the creek, so we gave them names and invested them with complex personalities and back-stories. They lived in a stony alter-universe where everybody was a stone. The stones had little stone parties sometimes. We offered them bugs to eat, but the stones weren’t hungry. I have my favorite stone in my pocket. He’s called Gufflin. Would you like to meet him?

Love it. I now want to meet Gufflin.

Beautiful Music

So, in my own opinion my last post was kind of harsh. To make up for it, I decided to post one of my favorite pieces of classical music. I have always loved listening to classical music (in moderation) and sometime use it to help me focus when I study. The summer between my sophomore and junior years in college, I took a course on Music History, and this beautiful piece by Bedřich Smetana called Má Vlast Moldau is the only new piece that has stuck in my mind. Smetana was inspired by the Vtlava river (Moldau in German), and wrote six symphonic poems to represent different lengths of the river on its way to joining the Elbe.  

You can almost see the streams running over rocks and crevices, then joining together through woods and forests. You can hear the dancing and merry making of the farmers' wedding, you can see the grandness of the ancient ruins and castles. Or none of these things if you decide to just listen to it as background music. I think it's beautiful.

Ex-gays and Mental Health

This article was written by a friend of mine, Benoit Denizet-Lewis. We play on the softball team together. (And by play, I usually mean, I sit on the bench and watch Neil, Benoit, and the rest of the team play). I read it yesterday, and wanted some time to think about it. I didn't think I would blog about it at all. To be honest, the whole 'ex-gay' mess is something I just don't want to touch. The psyche is a delicate, yet powerful thing. It has always been my philosophy that if you are attracted to men, there's really nothing you can do to change that. If you're attracted to women, there's nothing you can do to change that. The only choice involved in sexual orientation is whether or not one 'chooses' to live a happy life going with their orientation, or a not-so-happy and potentially miserable life going against it.

Anyway, with people like Michael Glatze, I don't know what to think. When I hear about ex-gays now, it is usually someone who 'struggled' with their same sex attractions and because of their religious convictions, cannot reconcile their natural inclinations with their faith. They then claim the label of 'ex-gay,' to prove to the world they have overcome their 'struggle,' though privately it never truly goes away.

Michael didn’t begin to question his life path, he told me, until a health scare in 2004 that led to what he calls his “spiritual awakening.” That year, when Michael was 29, he experienced a series of heart palpitations and became convinced that he suffered from the same congenital heart defect that killed his father when Michael was 13. (Michael lost both his parents young; his mother died of breast cancer when he was 19.) After tests eventually ruled out his father’s illness, Michael felt that he had escaped death and found himself staring “into the face of God.”

If I had to come to any conclusion, I think the health 'scare' really freaked him out. He was so confident in his 'gayness' before, I wonder if that flash of mortality made him want to find something more lasting, more secure. Eventually that led him to fundamental Christianity, the kind whose adherents can live nothing but their own interpretation, with no space for an outside view.

I'm too young to remember, but didn't the first crop of ex-gays come out (or should I say go back in) during the first HIV/AIDS scare? Nothing can make you re-think your life, like a close touch with death, and fear can be a very powerful motivator.

P.S. Another thought I had about this piece has to go with the mental health of those who feel they must struggle with their sexuality. I feel like counseling is an important part of the coming out processes, or just even understanding yourself better. This counseling has been hijacked by those who claim to be counseling those with same-sex attractions, and can actually help people out of them. (See boxturtlebulletin.com for a lot more about this myth). I actually had a counselor whose creed entailed not encouraging any positive feelings toward affirmation in a gay identity, but encouraging any opposing feeling, either straighthood or anti-gay feelings (American Association of Christian Counselors). Those seeking counsel, including religious counsel, should know that God loves them, no matter who they are, who they love, or how they feel, and should be free to come to any conclusion they so desire without any influence of religious bias (one way or another). Mental health is more important. Here's a good follow up article by the New York Times.

Sweden on my Mind

Yesterday, I spent some time looking at Sweden. This country has slowly taken over my life. (Not really, but it has popped up a lot more than it usually does). I was perusing one of my favorite websites, andrewsullivan.com, when I found this very cool video:

Believe it or not, this guy, FreddeGredde, is Swedish. I am also Swedish (well, there are a few Swedish drops of blood in me, I'm sure). I read on his blog how he was a student and that had me thinking about how most things (like education and health care) in Sweden are free, because of all their taxes (which I would rather pay, and get free health care and education).  

That got me thinking some more about my future. I'm a political person, a wary political person who always has an escape plan just in case one of the many anti-gay politicians find themselves in power. I know it's silly, but some of their biggest supporters advocate for us to be expelled from the country, so why not get a head start, eh? It's always good for my mental health to be prepared. Anyway, I looked up Sweden on their official website, Sweden.se and found a lot of really cool stuff, including a bunch of great short films! TAG! was my favorite. 

I don't know if I'll ever make it over there, and Neil has vowed to never have to become fluent in any other language than English, so that makes things a bit harder. At least now I know why I have this Robyn song stuck in my head.

We have similar dance styles. :)

more to come

Friends. I've been extremely busy trying to get myself ready for school in the fall. This includes doctor's visits, figuring out health insurance, moving, timing, other prior commitments (like an amazing relay race to the Cape)etc. There are a couple topics. I want to write about, including centralized health care, mental health and marriage protection rights, but they are going to have to wait for a bit while I catch up on work (which I also want to blog about). I will try and fit them in as soon as I can. In the meantime, please enjoy this glee cover of one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists: Rolling in the Deep by Adele.



I LOVE THIS SONG!

OneWheaton posts letter of Solidarity to current LGBT-Ally students

Today, a friend of mine from LA posted a story from OneWheaton, a LGBTQ-Ally group of alumni from Wheaton College in Illinois. This school, like many of its kind across the country, does not recognize the value of its LGBTQ students, making all except the most bold to live in the closet while on campus. What I wouldn't have given for something like this when I was at Anderson University, an even lesser known Christian college in the middle of the midwest. For years I blocked out my sexuality, out of fear: fear of being found out, fear of being ridiculed, fear of being cast out. This isolation is so unhealthy Finally I came out to myself my senior year at Anderson and mentally, things started to get better. Opening myself up in counseling sessions helped me to begin taking those first steps towards my own mental wellness and healthy relationships with others.

A song that helped me through some of my rough times was Coldplay's Fix You. If you ever need help, find someone you trust that you can talk to and find other ways to express your feelings, like art or listening to music.